I had "The Talk" with the kids... about Harry Potter Land

For those of you that don't know me, I'm a huge Harry Potter fan.  So when we decided to take the kids to Disney on vacation this year, it was obvious that we would also go to Harry Potter Land.  Being the charmer I am, I was able to talk the family into agreeing to road trip it down.  I mean, the outrageous cost of airline tickets might of had something to do with it too.  But mostly it was my charm.  Eddie calls it nagging, but whatever.  We live in New Jersey.  So it's quite the long drive. 

I would make an AWESOME Gryffindor...

When I was a little girl, my family would go visit my grandparents in Florida every year.  And every year we would drive.  Me, my parents and my 2 brothers in a minivan.  It was horrible.  My dad would never want to stop anywhere, even to use the restroom.  One time my brother peed himself in the car.  We would also never stop at a hotel.  So, all 5 of us would have to sleep in the car which was packed to bursting with stuff.  

And That's how much room we had.  The whole trip.

I know what you're thinking... Why the hell would I want to road trip it out with such god awful childhood memories?  And to be honest, I'm not really sure.  I actually have a great love of long car trips.  Like they've been tattooed onto my soul.  

A few years ago, Eddie and I drove down to Key West for probably the most amazing wedding known to man. (There was a shitload of tequila & Eddie's amazing family... need I say more??  Well... Probably yes, but I can't.  What happens in Key West stays in Key West).  Anyway, Eddie hated the ride.  It was pretty tough since we went straight through, sleeping in shifts.  And I got the shits on the way back.  Rest stop shitting is the worst kind of shitting known to man.  Still... I fucking LOVED it!  

Key West ain't no joke, people.

Fast forward to the present... I'M LEAVING FOR AN EPIC PILGRIMAGE TO HARRY POTTER LAND ON SATURDAY!!!!  I can hardly breathe... Just too excited...

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!

So, in preparation,  I sat the kids down and had "The Talk".  My kids, like most small children, let you know damn well when they no longer want to be involved in a particular task.  They let you know by whining, crying, complaining, etc., and can take all the fun out of even the most spectacular of experiences.  Yea, kids are assholes like that. 

Once I booked the trip, I sat them down and had the following conversation:

Me:  Girls, as you both know we will soon be partaking in an epic journey to Harry Potter Land.  You both know who he is, right?

Girls:  Yes, Mommy... He is your hero.  The chosen one.

Me:  Exactly.  This Disney trip..  This is all for you.  But Potter Land?  That's for mommy and mommy only.  There will be no whining and no complaining.  Mommy will drink butter beer and buy a robe...  and she will have her Wand choose her.  She will ride her broomstick throughout the land with the wind whipping through her hair...  And you will both be happy for mommy or so help me God I will make the rest of your lives miserable...  and you know I will...

Girls:  Ok... Mommy.

Me:  Now, repeat after me... 

And I had them repeat the Sacred Vows of Not Messing Up Harry Potter Land for Mommy... Then we celebrated with a cookie..  I also tried to make Eddie repeat the sacred vows, but he wouldn't.  Probably because I terrify him, or whatever.

Eddie got no cookie that night.

 

So, with 3 days left, the last leg of my planning begins.  It involves a map, lab coat and a pot of coffee... Stay tuned! ;o)