Tales from The Road (with a badass battle axe in the trunk)

Taking a road trip with 2 children is always a scary thing.  But, with the lovely invention of portable DVD players, I am pleased to report that we all lived!  And not 1 child was left on the side of the road to fend for them self.  And I did not once say "If you 2 don't cut it out, I will turn this car around and take us home!!!!"  Mostly because they knew that was a lie.  They aren't stupid.  I WILL SEE POTTER LAND!!!

The first day of the trip was pretty good.  I made Eddie stop at the very first Waffle House available so I could get my hands on some yummy southern grits!!!  Because getting that stuff in NJ is harder than getting an 8-ball and hooker.  

It was delicious by the way.  

Then on the way back on route, something glorious happened...

Me:  EDDIE PULL OVER!!!

Eddie:  What the fuck man!!  Why?!?!

Me:  That antique store had a fucking treasure chest!!!!!  

Eddie:  Sigh... (Parks car)

The treasure chest was like $200, which Eddie forbade me to spend on such tomfoolery.  But, at that very moment, I saw something even BETTER!!!! 

I will tear the fucking head off of a zombie with this bad boy!!!

Don't feel bad for Eddie.  He got something too.

See?!?

I told Eddie that this is exactly why we are perfect for each other.  He doesn't try to play with my fucking toys. (Mostly because I'm pretty sure that he's scared of me.)

So... Now I am the owner of a badass battle axe with a fucking skull on it!!!!  The zombie apocalypse can't come fast enough.

I have lots more fun stories that I will post at a later time.  But, tomorrow I finally go to Harry Potter Land.  I told Eddie we need to Wally World that shit and be the first ones there.  So, I've got to get some sleep!!! 

Wish me luck!!!!