I have been very vocal in the recent years of the demise of Man. Specifically, the perfectly quaffed cocksuckers that take longer to get ready than most women I know and are most likely wearing motherfucking mascara.
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| I'm looking at you, Efron! |
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| He would make a beautiful lesbian. |
I have never really liked the Boy Band. Not even in high school. When everyone else was all "New Kids on the Block", I was all "Star Trek the Next Generation" and "Quantum Leap". Because I keeps it real... and didn't really listen to music too much to be bothered.
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| Don't tell anyone... But I used to have a HUGE crush on Dean Stockwell from Quantum Leap. |
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| And Wil Wheaton... |
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| I know right?? Me, Geeky?! In High School?? Go figure! |
And then something horrible happened recently... I got a song stuck in my head. And not just any song... A BOY BAND SONG!!!
I mean...One second I'm banging my head in the car to "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, the next I'm gleefully singing along to "What Makes you Beautiful" by One Direction...
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| Where did I go wrong in life? |
If you no longer want to read, I will understand... I am so sorry. To you, the reader... To my mom... To my children... But mostly, to teenage me.
You deserve better, Past Valerie... You. Deserve. Better.
The first step is to admit you have a problem. You can kick this terrible boy band problem, just take it one day at a time...
ReplyDeleteI am just gonna take this slow, get help, and move on.
DeleteI. Can. Do. This.
:o)
Val
The title of this entry should have been WET TSHIRT!
DeleteThat is all
Damn... You're right. I'm such a newbie.
Delete:o)
Val
I'll tell you a secret... I have Debbie Gibson on a couple playlists and (gasp) a few Disney boy band songs get stuck in my head occasionally (I mean I have two daughters and seriously they listen to that shit over and over and over and god damn it for the catchy bubble gum lyrics and beat!!)
ReplyDeleteI haven't lost an ounce of respect. Not a single teaspoon even!
Also, I know I'm a newer follower, but I've tagged you in some awards.
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Delete[im]http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2194105925686&set=a.2194101965587.123684.1038306929&type=3&permPage=1[/im]
DeleteSorry about all the deletes... I was trying to post a picture of me and my friend after we met Tiffany and had her sign a copy of her playboy mag. It was awesome!!!
DeleteBut Blogger hates me. So... there goes that.
Anyway..
Firstly: You are awesome!!!!
No lie... My friend and I went to a Debbie Gibson and Tiffany concert last summer. It was spectacular. Every time the song "I think we're alone now" comes on, I lose my shit. That song is my JAM!!!! Once me and Eddie were at a party and it came on, I threw my bag at him and proceeded to not only sing along, but act out a choreographed routine. Much to Eddie's horror. :o)
I think he still has flashbacks whenever he hears that song.
Also, You. Are. Awesome!
Thanks!
Valerie :o)
Ha ha ha ha ha! Uh, I mean, I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at such a tragedy.
ReplyDeleteIt's possible that this is the first time in recorded history that anyone has committed to print or expressed vocally the phrase, "I used to have a huge crush on Dean Stockwell."
Heard about you from Heather over at Stretching My Wings. Glad I did too.
YAY! Thanks for joining!
DeleteBelieve me... I was mocked HEARTILY for being possibly the only teenager in existence with a Dean Stockwell poster on her wall. You throw in the Spock Star Trek shirt I rocked on a regular basis, and you have a Winner! :o)
Needless to say, my parents were quite confused.
Hugs!
Valerie
I've always hated Justin Bieber. Maybe it's the perfectly coifed hair (you can tell I'm gay... I used coifed in a sentence....). Maybe it's that he's 16 and has more money than God. Blah on him.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I caught myself singing along to one of his songs in the car.
I believe that is the first sign of the apocalypse.
We can only hope that it's a Zombie Apocalypse, my friend. And not, like, an asteroid or plague one.
DeleteGod, how I despise The Bieber. Once, I was flipping through a magazine and came across a full page picture of him. No lie, my first thought was "What a pretty girl." Then I noticed it was him. I don't like how he plays with my mind.
Also, he's got better hair than me. I bet humidity doesn't even touch it. Jerk.
Hugs!
Valerie
It's way too damn early in the morning for me to have to see that tramped up lez Beiber, and then to hear of this One Direction nonsense? I'm not sure if we can be friends anymore Val. It's just all too much!
ReplyDeleteAnd who didn't have a crush on Wheaton. That boy was utterly adorable. He seems pretty rad now, as well.
Dean Stockwell, though. Yeah, that's odd. I just always think of that Halloween episode where he was the devil or something and his eyes were all glowy . . . still freaks me out.
I know!!! I was too ashamed to admit it to Eddie. Then one day the song came on whilst we were in the car together. My tapping fingers and humming betrayed me that day. I'll never hear the end of it.
DeleteI absolutely LOVED Wheaton... Until he was in Toy Soldiers. Then he got shot for being an idiot and I lost respect for him. That's when I moved on... to Sean Austin. :o)
I remember coming across Stockwell's name in a tv guide crossword puzzle back in my days of crushdom. I saved it... For years. :o) I was so weird. (Ok.. am, not was).
Hugs!
Valerie
I came across your blog on the Harry Potter trip... and I thought, "this chick is AWESOME." Then, I caught the Diablo thing and said, "yeah, I've been there." Today, I read the whole throwing yourself a party story and laughed my ass off. Then I noticed... oh I missed a post.
ReplyDeleteWhat. The. Fuck?! One Direction?!
*sigh* ... well given the balance of things, I think the Harry Potter, playing of bad ass video games, and throwing yourself a surprise zombie apocalypse party more than outweighs the whole One Direction thing. So I'll continue reading you... just so long as you're not singing along to the Beebs or Selena Gomez next.
I KNOW RIGHT?!? But if I were too awesome, I'd probably implode... Or something uncomfortable like that. Like the end of Poltergeist when the house eats itself. But messier...
DeleteHugs!
Valerie