Wednesday, June 20, 2012

UPDATED: Sean Connery is NOT dead. For when he dies, the end shall be upon us

Conversation between me and Eddie:

Me:  I didn't sleep well last night.  Do you think there was caffeine in that chai latte?!?  Because I'm totally gonna have another one tonight.  Fuck Sleep.  She doesn't rule me.

Eddie:  I couldn't sleep either.  Actually, I was sound asleep.  Then I got a text from Greg saying that Sean Connery died.

Me:  SEAN CONNERY IS DEAD!?!?!!?  THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!  I need to sit down.

Eddie:  See what I mean?!?!  The shock of losing Sean Connery jolted me into awakeness.  

Me:  How did he die?!? 

Eddie:  Oh, he's not dead.  It was another internet hoax.  But you understand why I couldn't get back to sleep after that.  

Me:   I will never sleep again when Connery dies.  In protest.


This is how I win every argument with Eddie.  Thank you, Sean Connery.




I just want you all to know that I am writing a letter to Sir Connery to let him know how much I love him.  You should all do it too.  You can get his address here.  It's better to say these things now before it's too late.  

UPDATED:  It has recently come to my attention that Sean Connery is pro-woman beating.  I have never been so disappointed in someone that I have never met.  Shame on you, Sir Connery.  Maybe your recent brush with fake death will make you see the errors in your ways.  I shall include this in my letter to you.  You're better than a pimp, Connery.  So much better.


The weird part is this is true for 98% of the male population.


I hope to max level one day... One. Day

14 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I love him too.

      That's why I'm not going to spoil it for you. Never look into his past. Ever.

      It will break your heart.

      Hugs!

      Valerie

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  2. i couldn't sleep after that shit either. i mean... the man is the Keith Richards of acting. end of the world: Keith, Sean, cockroaches & Grandma Rose... Survivors ...TRUTH!

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    1. Nicole... It has recently come to my attention that he condones beating women. Saturday we shall drink to his memory and the hope that his recent brush with death has caused him to see the error of his ways.

      We can only hope.

      I love you and need a hug.

      Valerie

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  3. If you ever find yourself unable to sleep... worried that Sean Connery has died... ease your mind by going here: http://www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.Nsf/cnames/Connery+Sean

    Okay, I'll be totally honest. I have NO IDEA exactly how up-to-date this whole deadoraliveinfo page is... I mean for all I know they might have bought the whole hoopla and accidentally changed his status to dead and from the smiley face to the skull last night, then fixed the error since.

    The site seems a bit shady. They seem to avoid the hard-to-answer questions... and by that I mean they don't list the status of Elvis on their site. Just sayin'.

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    1. I just want to take this opportunity to point out that I am not listed on this website. Does that make me dead, alive or something... "else".

      I hope I'm not a sparkly vampire!!!!!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

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  4. See, that last photo just proved to me that Sean Connery is, in fact, a time traveller. Looking at that photo, no one could deny it.

    Or maybe he really IS immortal, like in Highlander! Damn, it was a documentary! I should have realised!

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    1. He's GOTTA be immortal. I mean, THE MAN DOESN'T AGE! Though, I did watch Death Becomes Her this morning. Seems more believable now.

      Also Explains my recent Elvis sighting.

      Hugs!

      Valerie

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  5. After reading an interview where Sean advocated hitting women, I've since had a different view of ol' 007. So your and Eddie's reaction would probably be different than mine.

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    1. Man... I have never been so disappointed in my life. I feel like I would feel if someone were to tell me that Santa isn't real.

      That blows. I will love his acting ability side. And condemn his woman beating side. And if I ever meet him, I owe him one (1) bitch slap... For breaking my heart.

      Hugs!

      Valerie

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  6. Pickleope has a point. I read that article too and was understandable upset that a man I idolized was okay with slapping a woman around. But still, that accent, that smooth, sexy gaze, I can't help but love the man...I should say the actor. I would think that they are different. Maybe.

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    1. I would never had believed it if I hadn't heard it with mine own ears.

      Disappointment isn't even the word.

      I shall include all this in my letter to him. We can all only hope that his recent brush with fake death has made him see the error in his ways.

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete
  7. Sean Connery has always been on my "hottest guys" list - I remember going to see "The Rock" as a HS senior with a bunch of other HS girls who just wanted to see Sean Connery kick ass. Nick Cage who? Admittedly, though, it's hard to ignore those interviews.

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    1. I had no idea. It's always the ones we love the most that hurt us the greatest.

      I'm really gonna write him a strongly worded letter about this. I wish he would try to hit me. I don't care if he were James Bond, I'd beat him senseless with his own shoe.

      Hugs!

      Valerie

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