Conversation between me and Eddie:
Me: I didn't sleep well last night. Do you think there was caffeine in that chai latte?!? Because I'm totally gonna have another one tonight. Fuck Sleep. She doesn't rule me.
Eddie: I couldn't sleep either. Actually, I was sound asleep. Then I got a text from Greg saying that Sean Connery died.
Me: SEAN CONNERY IS DEAD!?!?!!? THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!! I need to sit down.
Eddie: See what I mean?!?! The shock of losing Sean Connery jolted me into awakeness.
Me: How did he die?!?
Eddie: Oh, he's not dead. It was another internet hoax. But you understand why I couldn't get back to sleep after that.
|This is how I win every argument with Eddie. Thank you, Sean Connery.|
I just want you all to know that I am writing a letter to Sir Connery to let him know how much I love him. You should all do it too. You can get his address here. It's better to say these things now before it's too late.
UPDATED: It has recently come to my attention that Sean Connery is pro-woman beating. I have never been so disappointed in someone that I have never met. Shame on you, Sir Connery. Maybe your recent brush with fake death will make you see the errors in your ways. I shall include this in my letter to you. You're better than a pimp, Connery. So much better.
|The weird part is this is true for 98% of the male population.|
|I hope to max level one day... One. Day|