First off, let me just say that we had a FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC time at the horror convention. And you know what makes Monster Mania even MORE fun than usual?
A FUCKING MANNEQUIN ARM.
|That statement is 100% accurate and has been tested in the field.|
Not only were the people who signed the arm very excited to do so, the people I ran into were equally siked to help out in my venture to make this arm come to life with the mysticism and love one can only obtain from other slightly imbalanced individuals.
Was I successful in my attempt? Let me share my journey with you, and you can judge for yourself...
|Let me start off by saying that those 3 sad beers in the back were drunk by Eddie. The balance was all me and my gal Stephanie.|
|Some people may call us "functioning alcoholics"... But we know we are just plain awesome.|
|Daryl doesn't flinch when it comes to zombies. But if you rub his face with Mannequin Arm whilst whispering in a creepy high pitched voice "Mannequin Arrrrrrm!", he will squeal like a girl and jump 10 feet in the air.... True. Fucking. Story.|
|Glenn on the other hand was TOTALLY into the sexiness of The Arm. I think he wanted to keep it.|
|I'm not going to lie to you. Dale was the best person EVER! I want to hang out with him and just listen to him tell stories... Forever.|
|Sophia shook Mannequin Arm as we went to leave and said "It was a pleasure meeting you." You're welcome, Sophia.|
|And then we met Dante from Clerks. BONUS SIGNATURE! He was all "This is the first arm I've ever signed... Once someone made me sign a big black dildo. Wanna see my giant bottle of hand sanitizer?"|
|Also, we met Boone from Nightbreed but Mannequin Arm missed it. He passed out in the room (Lightweight!!)... I'm not sure who those other people are. But we were all pretty drunk.|
|Michael Myers may have his knife, but Mannequin Arm is way more deadly when he's been fortified with famous people signatures.|
|Freddy and me with our weapons of mass destruction. I win.|
|Even reception at the hotel was siked about Mannequin Arm!|
|Also, I avoided this horrifying clown all night. Until he ripped the latex clown mask off. Then we were cool. Because I'm brave like that.|
|Look at the excitement on Eddie's face... He was so happy I brought The Arm. Damn he's lucky to be married to me.|
As you probably have already realized, you all need Mannequin Arms. Not only is it fun, but it could save your life. Let's break it down:
|Valerie vs. Jason... No Mannequin Arm = Death|
|Valerie vs. Jason... With Mannequin Arm = Epic Battle to the Death (Spoiler Alert: I won)|
Yea... Exactly!!! YOU. NEED. A. MANNEQUIN. ARM. You should be happy that you realized this now and not on your death bed. Because if it's one thing that sucks, it's realizing that you needed a Mannequin Arm to make your life complete. And You Can't Get The Fuck Up And Get One. And also, that there is a weird smell coming from your pants. So do it now... Before it's too late.
|Me, Mannequin Arm, and my new Tick action figure. Fin.|