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| I could have gone into the Carnie business. |
Or... You can skip the heartache and possible retina damage by clicking HERE. You can catch up on past events and interpretive dance your feelings to me. Please feel free to send me a video on it. Because if it's one thing I love, it's some interpretive dance... with ... ribbons... and... cats....
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| *tear... sniff* Just so beautiful... |
But I digress...
Our story begins with us attending a party at Kenny's house. I may have gotten a bit tipsy and left my sunglasses there. And by "may have" I mean "that's exactly what I fucking did." So, then this happened.
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| Kenny stole my glasses and mocked me. Heavily. |
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| It. Was. Awesome. |
So, obviously, it was on like donkey kong!
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| We took Kenny's Shorts to Six Flags! They rode the kiddy rides like crazy bitches. |
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| Me and Kenny's Shorts became superheroes! Just like we always dreamed about. |
A few weeks later, we ran into each other at a family party. Things got really tense. But, we're adults. We took care of things, old west style. (Meaning we sat around and drank a lot.)
In the end, I got my glasses back. I kept Kenny's Shorts though. He will have to pry these motherfuckers from my cold, dead legs.
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| Seriously, Kenny... MY COLD, DEAD LEGS!!!! |
I would definitely definitely consider getting a cat if it were to do insulting interpretive dance. But, I think it'd be more likely to sit in the corner in a haughty manner.
ReplyDeleteMy cats don't interpretive dance at all. Once I tied ribbons to my arms and legs to try to help them get the point. But all that happened is they went batshit crazy and attacked me. I still have the scar on my ankle. Bastards.
DeleteIt's always awkward when you run into the ex. I still remember how uncomfortable my earrings and I were when we ran into the girl I borrowed/stole them from at the New Years Eve party of 2000. To be fair, we were partying like it was 1999, so a little larceny was to be expected.
ReplyDeleteIt's never a good feeling... Like... What if they like their new owner better than us? How do we move on from something like that?
DeleteIs that a challenge, a threat, or an enticement, or you advocating necrophilia?
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking a little bit of everything... Rolled into a burrito.
DeleteSo the moral of the story is that you have your glasses, and he is short one pair of shorts. And you win. This is why you are my hero.
ReplyDeleteAre you seriously dancing atop the sinks of a public bathroom . . . barefoot? I don't think I've ever loved you more.
HAHA! Yes.. And it was not ordinary public bathroom... It was a rest stop on the Turnpike. Double gross. :o)
DeleteHa. You each look better in the other's gear. That's just wrong.
ReplyDeleteYea. I was gonna let him keep the glasses, but he said he's no girl. Then I mocked him for being a girl for a while. I'm an asshole like that. :o)
DeleteHey! I've decided to pass the Liebster Award on to you. You probably know about it already, but if you don't, it's bloggers showing appreciation for each other's work. I just was given this for my blog, The Travelin-gineer. So, if you're into it, check my post and link back on your page.
ReplyDeletehttp://thetravelin-gineer.blogspot.com/2012/09/liebster-award.html
This is awesome!!! Thanks so much! :o) You rock!
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