As background, please note that Jazzy has reduced grown men to tears with a look. She's been like that since birth, when she almost immediately earned the nickname of "Baby Stewie". We are all convinced that she has a secret lab somewhere in the house (possibly underground) in which she is working on weaponry to one day take over the world. True story.
|The Look usually looks like this.|
Jazzy: (farts on my yoga mat)
Me: It's bad yoga etiquette to fart on another persons mat...
Jazzy: Im sharing my love for you, Mommy. There is love in my farts.
Me: How do you figure?
Jazzy: Well.. it starts at my heart. And then goes down down down.. And comes out of my butt!!
|Jazzy showing some superior dance class moves.|
(Me & Jazz running late for dance class)
Me: (mumbling incoherent curse words at other drivers)
Jazzy: What did you say mommy?
Me: Nothing. I was talking to the people that can't drive.
Jazzy: Ok. You were talking to yourself then.
|The time Jazzy fell asleep on the stairs. I'm pretty sure she had a plan for this.|
Eddie: Why are you so grumpy tonight?
Jazzy: Because everyone is talking to me and I don't like it.
Eddie: Well... If she ain't a chip off the old block...
Jazzy (On the toilet): I hope you brought your bathing suit cuz you're about to go in the poop pool!
Jazzy: My poops about to go swimming in the pool, mommy..
|Jazzy's school project last year. She had to pick 100 things to glue on to paper... She picked eyes.|
Me: Jazzy!!! Sit down and stop moving!!!!
(5 mins pass.. I look over and see Jazz stuck the same position.)
Me: Jazz.. What are you doing?
Jazz: I'm not moving, mommy..
|I am pretty sure that most of the time she's just fucking with our heads.|
Jazzy: (at the Zombie Walk) "Mommy... Im so tired. Being a zombie is tiring ... And... sticky..."
Me: Jazz... What are you doing?
Jazz: These are my hunting clothes .. I'm going hunting.
Me: For what?
Jazz: Bad guys and zombies.. I have a bow & arrow...
Me: You're my hero.
Jazz: You're welcome. (leaves the room)