Sunday, January 20, 2013

New study shows that Monday is a dirty crack hoe trying to give you herpes

Everyone can go for a blow job or the female equivalent once in a while.  I just wanted to remind you that Monday has herpes.  Because I'm a good friend.   So remember... No matter how horny you are, that shit is forever.

This cake will not cure herpes.  But, it might make the shock of getting it a little better.  Just in case you're wondering.  Cake makes everything better.


 In other news, I just watched The first Lord of the Rings movie again.  You know that part where they are all meeting to discuss who will take the ring to Mordor and Frodo is all "I'll take the ring to Mordor!!! But... I do not know the way." 

This is the only thought that will get me out of bed in the morning.


 Well, I don't want to sould like a pussy or anything, but I always totally lose my shit.  So, I just wanna send a Thank You out to my friend Mel who so lovingly held me whilst I sobbed into her bosom screaming "OH MY GOD!!!  HE'S SO TINY AND BRAVE!!!!"  I love you, Mel!

 Also, do you guys remember this commercial?



Now... I dare you not to giggle every time you see Sauron.
I saw this a week ago and I'm STILL laughing!!!
Remember... Don't let Monday take you alive. Or... Give you the herps.


P.S.  My blog is entered in Dude(ette) Write.  Voting has started!!!  PLEASE VOTE FOR ME!!!  Or my self esteem may never recover...
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8 comments:

  1. Oh, I've always known that Monday was a skanky whore. She sucks like a five dollar hooker ... badly.

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  2. Did you catch (erf, maybe the wrong verb here) the post about LOTR a couple days ago on The Blogess? There is an Eye of Sauron cake that looks like an angry vagina. I'm not sure if cake wins in this instance

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    1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!! It does look like an angry vagina!!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete

  3. That cookie would not make up for the herpes...but it would be a good start on the road to forgiveness. What if every Monday someone brought you a Frodo shaped donut? Perhaps you need to start said tradition, you know, to lessen the blow of Monday.

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    1. I dig the way you think... People should totally give me LOTR related presents every Monday. Almost like how people used to sacrifice virgins to appease the gods back in the good ol days.

      Yeeees.... I like where this is going very much so...

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete

  4. I voted for you! That makes Monday just a wee bit better, yes?

    I would really like to eat the hell out of that cookie. Herpes and all.

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    Replies

    1. It really did make it better! I owe you a ridiculous amount of hugs...

      Hugs to the power of infinity,

      Valerie

      Delete

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