Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Hannibal Lector could learn a thing or two from my kid.

Every once in a while, a child is born.  One whom is born with pure wit and awesomeness of which cannot be learned.  This is a story of such a child.  And her name is Jasmyn...

"Mommy,  I can't stop looking at this zombie picture.  Look at all the ketchup they used.  I want some fries." 




Jasmyn (on Neil Patrick Harris):  Mommy, do you know how old he is?

 Me:  Like Mommy's age I guess...  Mid 30s?

 Jasmyn:  Oh...  I guess I'm too young for him since I'm 6.



We go to Medieval Times a few times a year.  Jasmyn is picked as Queen of the Tournament 85% of the time.  I think it's mind control. 


Jasmyn:  Mom, I bet I can guess your email password.  Is your password "I Love Mannequins 2932"?

Look at those smiles!!
Eddie:  Jazzy, can you please get me a bottle of water?

 Jasmyn:  We are all out of bottles.  So I brought you some of this fresh sink water instead.

In a fight between Jasmyn and Chuck Norris, my money would be on Jasmyn.
Jasmyn (on the healthiness of donuts):  If donuts are junk why does it say 0 grams? See! 0 grams. That's how healthy donuts are.

Her hockey skills are legendary.  Mostly the part where she pulls the shirt over her sister's head and tries to punch her.

Jasmyn:  Daddy, I wanna take karate, but I kinda already know it. And I don't even know why...


Beware World...  She's coming to get you.
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11 comments:

  1. If there is a better word than "AWESOME!" to describe your daughter, I haven't learned it yet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. She'll find that word. Then use it in her slogan when she runs for president.

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete

  2. Are you sure you have a daughter? I think that's really you, 20 years ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. They don't call this kid my clone for nothing!! ;0)

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete

  3. Wait until she learns that age isn't the only thing separating her and NPH.
    Some people strive to raise a child as cool and unique as the parent, you seem to have succeeded. Also, I received the arm. It freaks me out every morning because my spouse thinks it's hilarious to hide it in different rooms. Today, it was hiding on top of my towel, didn't notice it until I grabbed my towel out of the shower. Good thing I was still in the shower, an easy place to clean.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. I'm so happy you got it!! And I'm even happier its being put to good use. Pictures!!!! ;0)

      Also, your spouse is a fucking genius!!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete

  4. Ha! She is indeed your daughter. I would say that I want to introduce her to my son, but I think she would scare the ever living crap out of him, being so badass and all. He's kind of a dork. But he does bear a striking resemblance to NPH . . . the jury is still out on future preference of ladies v. mens. So, maybe she can get in on the ground floor, so to speak. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. The thing about Jazz is that she is charming and sweet, as well as deadly. I'm sure that they would get along splendidly!!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete

    2. Charming and sweet as well as deadly . . .

      You do realize you just described every serial killer in existence, right? Ok then, carry on . . . ;)

      Delete

  5. Please let Jasmyn know that if she needs a henchman, my services are on offer. I get the feeling that the final battle for her control over the world is going to get messy and I want to make sure I'm on the winning side right from the outset.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. I'm pretty sure that Jazzy is always secretly recruiting. Although, I have no proof... That's how good she is!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete

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