Me: Eddie! Eddie!! Wake up!
Me: There's... There's something in the closet.
Eddie: You're dreaming... Again... Go back to sleep.
Me: No. There's something there. It's.... It's a demon.
Eddie: Go back to sleep!!
**cell phone vibrates**
(Let me point out that there were no messages or anything on my phone. It just randomly vibrated. It's quite obvious that this was demon trickery. It's exactly how those bastards work. I read all about it in Tobin's Spirit Guide.)
Me: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!
Eddie: Its your god damn phone buzzing. Now go back to bed!!
Me: It's come from hell to get me.
Eddie: What's wrong with you?
Me (shines phone light into closet): Never mind... Looks like it went back to the depths from which it came...
So, as you can imagine, I got no fucking sleep that night. I kept thinking that beast was going to come back and drag me kicking and screaming into the closet. It looked exactly like those dog monsters from the Ghostbusters movie. Except eviler. And red. And so angry...
|If someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes!!!|
Now that I think of it, in the last few months I've seen a demon, tribbles, spiders and faery tunnels in my "sleep". What if this is the last phase of me being taken!? Like that movie, Drag Me to Hell?! And I haven't even made friends with Liam Neeson yet...
|Epic Battle of Our Times|
OOOOOR..... On a more likely note, that demon was probably here to offer me a position as Queen of the Underworld. I mean, I am the likely choice. I'd rock the fuck out of a leather outfit and a whip. Also, I can multitask. And that's wicked important when your dealing with the torturing of millions of souls.
|I was so made for this job.|
But, unfortunately, I'm gonna have to turn the job down. I hear its wicked hot down there. And I don't like to be sweaty. Plus my curly hair would be horrible in that kind of humidity. It just wouldn't work for me in the long run.
|Seriously... Why can't I just have straight hair?!?|
But I shall thank them graciously for their offer... And also leave a tray of cookies. Cuz... Demons love cookies....
|I know this has nothing to do with the topic. But when I googled "demons love cookies," this picture came up. I almost spit tea all over my new computer.|
P.S. Saturday I take the Polar Bear Plunge to raise money for the Special Olympics!! I'm less than $100 away from reaching the $300 goal mark. And if I raise $300, I get Special Olympics sweatpants to match my sweatshirt!! Guys... I would have the whole outfit. THE. WHOLE. FUCKING. OUTFIT. So if you want to donate to a great cause, help me get a Special Olympics Sweatsuit and throw a little good karma your way, CLICK HERE!!!