1. Drink a shit-ton of alcohol
|This is totally going to be a good idea.|
2. Think to yourself, "Maybe I should start dating..."
|Ok Cupid, let's give this a whirl...|
|It's so good when it hits the lips|
4. Begin the tedious task of setting up your dating website
|This isn't hard at all. Piece of cake, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!|
5. Have more alcohol
|One more for the *hic* road|
6. Answer all questions in relation to Chuck Norris...
- What I'm Doing with my Life: Watching Delta Force.
- First Thing People Usually Notice About Me: My ever-growing love for Chuck Norris.
- Six Things I Could Never Do Without:
- Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris's Beard
- Chuck Norris's Roundhouse Kick
- That one time Chuck Norris ripped a man's still beating heart out of his chest and showed it to him before he died
- I think that last one counts as 3 things...
|Exactly almost like this|
- On a Typical Friday Night I am: Sacrificing virgins at my ultra cool Chuck Norris Altar
- The Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit: I don't even like Chuck Norris.
|But, I really do like him. Some might say too much... But I just roundhouse kick those people in the face. So, they really don't matter. Since they're dead.|
7. Laugh maniacally at your cleverness before passing out on the floor with your dog.
|BEHOLD THE CLEVERNESS OF ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz|
8. Wake up to 57 messages the next day and over 100 flirty winky shits
9. Become totally overwhelmed and let your social anxiety create a panic attack.
10. Delete your account immediately and vow to be a spinster
|Oh Cupid!!! You so crazy!|
|But now I will have to kill you...|
11. Take up knitting as a hobby
And THAT, my friends, is why I am no good at, nor will I ever be good at dating. I just wish I liked cats more. Is there such thing as a crazy sock puppet lady?!?
|We do make a damn good team, me and my socks.|