Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Because One Day, SOMEONE will invite me to play quidditch... And I most certainly won't be picked LAST, if that's what you're insinuating!

A couple of weeks ago, on my way to drop the kids off at school (and no, that isn't a clever pun for pooping.  I was really taking them to the place they get educated and shit. Now, get you're mind out of the gutter, for Christ's sakes!), we passed an empty parking lot and saw this...

Holy Wizards on Broomsticks, Batman!!!

Me (Upon seeing this): OMG. THEY PLAY QUIDDITCH HERE?!

Alyssa: They're poles mommy. Not broomsticks. Slow your nerdy roll.

 Me:  Damn, son...  Why you gotta play me like that.

Alyssa:  No, mommy...  Just no.

It's great fun having a pre-teen.  Did I ever mention this?  

Anyway, we pass by this field everyday.  And everyday I get excited to see my makebelieve quidditch game.  And then it hit me...

Me:  I'VE GOT IT!!!!

Alyssa:  Oh boy...  Here we go...

Me:  They DO play quidditch there!!  But they've BEWITCHED the broomsticks to look like poles so that muggles can't see what they're doing!!!!!

Alyssa:  *facepalm*


Alyssa:  Really, mommy?  How long did it take to come up with that one.  Calm down and roll the windows up...  No one is going to invite you to play quidditch if you're out there screaming about witches.  If you QUIETLY let them know that you know, maybe they'll invite you to play.

So, now, everyday when we pass by, I give a tip of my hat and a knowing nod/wink to the invisible wizards playing my very favorite of games.

One day, motherfuckers...  You'll see...  One.  Day.

But until then, I'm totally chill...  Well, kind of... Well, Chill for ME anyways...

Ok...  I fail miserably at "chill"...  

Or...  Do I??  Bum.  Bum.  BUMMMMMM!!!!!


  1. OR... Maybe those ARE quidditch brooms, as used by the giant stone guardians of Hogwarts! But they only play at night...

  2. You're not a Muggle? That means...you're a...witch? She's a witch! Burn the witch! Sorry, I was possessed by the spirit of a magistrate from Salem for a minute there.


  3. Well, at least you've got that British thing down, what with the bulldog and monocle. First step . . .

  4. I could totally see you running into the wall at the train station!

  5. Thankfully I know what quidditch is although I am not a H P fan so it is a bit surprising that I do know what it is

  6. Don't you just love how the magical worlds sits right alongside the Muggle world, but completely unseen? I'm rather shocked that Alyssa can't see the Quidditch field, I could have sworn she had magic powers...but maybe she can and is just pretending she can't in order to keep the secret!

  7. Hahaha! You guys remind me of myself and the Spawn. Alyssa is hilarious. That girl seriously needs her own blog.

  8. Bum bum bummmm!!! Thanks for the great laugh!
    That empty field with broom sticks... oh yeah... bring on the Quidditch. You ain't no muggle!!!

  9. Sorry to ruin your fun but it's just a bunch of lazy bastards who want you to sweep their parking lot, The nerds fall for it all the time!

  10. I am not a muggle, and I see broomsticks :)
    I'll play quidditch with you :)