Tuesday, July 15, 2014

His Last Grand Hurrah

My brother has recently come to the realization that he is in the early stages of... (gulp)...  Hair loss.  No man wants to go through this just as no woman wants to go through menopause.  But it happens.  And sadly, it needs to be addressed and dealt with.  


And what better way to deal with it than donning a wig and living like it's 1992...


I'm...

Too Sexy for this Wig...

Too Sexy for this Wig...

So Sexy...
It hurts...

Remember lil bro:  You're not losing hair... You're gaining face.  And soon, you'll have a whole fucking head of marvelous face.  <3

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Egg Souls and Sundays kind of go hand in hand


I've been MIA again.  I know this.  You know this.  Even Yellow Dog knows this.  I'm sorry.  Life has been quite crazy lately.  I find it more difficult to keep up with this blog when I'm ridiculously happy.  Which is weird...  Since I'd like to think of this as a humor blog...  Which is easier when I'm happy, right?

Whatever.  I'm here now, baby.  Yeaaaa...  That's right... Don't worry your pretty little head.  Just rest it upon my bosom and everything will be ok.

Or not.  I mean, my bosom could be filled with C4 for all you know.  And I'm just crazy enough to pull off a stunt like that.  But that's a chance you're just gonna have to take.

Now on to more pressing subjects...

Today the girls wanted some pancakes.  I obliged because...  Pancakes YUM!  Anyway, I went to get the eggs to put in the mixture that included chocolate chips (because that's how we keeps shit realz up in this bitch) and this is what I found...

Ummmm....  Yea.  I think neither I nor the egg were ready for this.

Alyssa apparently had some fun with one of our eggs.  As I was about to crack him, I looked deeply into those terrified eyes and just couldn't.  

I couldn't eat him.

So I left him there and made our pancakes with different eggs.  Blank eggs.  Eggs that weren't pleading for their life with sad, sad eyes.  

I know, I'm such a good person.  Unfortunately, I'm a good person who really likes to eat eggs...  I boiled up that fucker an hour later for a delicious snack.

Yea, I'm also an asshole.

And as I cracked his face open and peeled the flesh from his carcass right before rubbing salt all over him, I laughed quite maniacally.  

Because that shit is just funny.

Don't judge me, people.  Don't judge me.