Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Siri is the Reason Why I have Anger Issues

It all started out innocent enough.  I was on my way home from an appointment, and decided to get bagels for me and the family.  There's a pretty great bagel shop by us that is usually on the busy side.  I prefer to call in my order.  Mainly because it makes me feel like Beyonce when I walk in and get to skip the line.  And who doesn't like to feel like The Queen B.
 

I know Siri hates me.  I.  Know.  This.  Mannnn.  But I was driving and I needed some assistance.  And the god damn commercial makes it look so fucking easy.


But it's not...


It's.  Fucking.  Not.  Easy.  At.  Fucking.  All.

 

Me:  Siri, Fanwood Bagels.
 

Maybe it was because I had the window cracked.  I rolled it up and tried again.


Me: Siri... Fanwood Bagels! 


Son of a bitch.

Me: SIRI... Fanwood Bagels.


Did. I. Stutter. Motherfucker?!?!

Me:  SIRI!!  FANWOOD!! BAGELS!!!!!! 



You fucking whore.

After googling and finding the number then calling it and placing my order, like it was 1998 or some shit, I decided that Siri hates me.


And you know what?  I fucking hate her too.  


Yea.  That's right.