Thursday, September 22, 2016

I did it... I clicked the "new post" button. HUZZAH MOTHERFUCKERS!

Well look who decided to get off her lazy ass and write something...


This sassy bitch


It's been a while.  Longer than I meant to take off.  I'm sure you're all probably not even talking to me at this point.  And that's totally ok.  I get it.  But I've been thinking a lot about this blog lately...  and I miss it very much.


Why have I been thinking about it?  Besides it being fucking awesome?  It's ok, you can admit it.  4 out of 5 other awesome people agree.  But besides that...  Alyssa, my 14 year old daughter, said something a few weeks ago that hit home.  I got a "Mommy, why don't you write anymore.  I miss your blog.  It made me laugh."




You remember this fucking kid, right?  If not, here's your reminder.  You're welcome.

My first thought was…  Holy shit!  What the hell did I even write about and how inappropriate was it???  After I calmed down and realized that the kid lives with me and hears most of this shit in person, I felt bad.  I love making her smile and laugh.  I felt bad that I was not only not doing that, but I gave up on something that I loved doing so very much.  Something that made me feel good.  Something that helped me express myself.  Something that introduced me to some amazeballs peeps. 


But I digress...  I wanted to come back the day she said that to me.  But it’s been so long since I've been here that I was, frankly, embarrassed to write yet another post about how I promise to come back.  The sucky part about me is that I just can't promise to come back, like, once a week… or once every other week.  Nay, my friends.  I have to promise to do a post every day.  Which is too hard right now with my life schedule.  And when I cant make that promise happen, I automatically just give up.


I'm hardcore like that.


But I’m working on my shit…  So I’ll be back.  Not every day, mind you.  But once a week or so should be just right. 


I miss you, fuckers.


I’m sure your all dying to know what I’ve been up to.  And if not, I'm going to tell you anyway! In fact, I'm going to do an astounding flashback montage scene next post... with pictures and everything!!!  Because who wouldn’t rather look at a cool picture book instead of reading.  That’s pretty much why graphic novels were even invented…  Probably.


I can promise you wont be disappointed.  Life has been an AMAZING adventure lately and my happiness is beaming lights of joy right out of my asshole... Because I'm classy like that.


Here's a Sneak Peek...

Holy Fuckballs!


Talk to you bitches soon!


Hugs!


Valerie

11 comments:

  1. OK, I know it might seem like I'm stalking you, commenting only minutes after you posted, but I just happened to be in Blogger posting as well (honest!) and saw this pop up.

    Yay! Valerie's back! Never apologize, and never make excuses. Just blow us away with the sheer awesomeness of your picture montage (age-appropriate, of course).

    BTW - my first reaction to that last photo was "So, Valerie's got a beer in her hands. So what's new?" My second reactions was "Mmm ... beer ... me thirsty."

    It was only on a third look that I spotted what you were really trying to show off. Yeah, typical man :(

    So, congrats. Looks like it's been one helluva year.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! It's good to be back! And I'm so excited to share my adventures over the past year with you all!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

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  2. well my Friday just got a bit better! It's not even 7 am though and I worry it can now only be downhill from here! Get that girl some cookies for helping to bring you back to us!

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    Replies
    1. I would get her some cookies but she is currently punished for being a teenager with a teenager attitude. Ugh!! Kids these days!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

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  3. Welcome back! Can't wait to see your asshole lights!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My asshole lights are like none you've ever seen!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Thanks!!!! It's good to be back!!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete
  5. Glad to see your post! I've missed your smartassery! Congrats! I freaking love your hair! I'm apparently addicted to exclamation points!

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    Replies
    1. It's ok! I totally am too! And I've got a lot of smartassery to share! Also, Carlos actually dyed it!!

      Hugs!

      Valerie

      Delete
  6. Hell we missed you just so you know and even though this turned up a few days ago in my email and I usually don't blog between Friday and Monday much I kept the email and hell I am here on a Sunday morning not much else to do this morning so that is why I am reading some blog posts and not watching telly.

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